Portal game jokes

The transfer portal is now more like a swinging door. Gabriel went through the door that led him to UCLA, only to exit the other side when he heard that Oklahoma quarterback Caleb Williams was entering the portal. Williams was the guy who chased Spencer Rattler out of Norman, Okla.

Oklahoma will lose two big-time receivers in Mario Williams and Jadon Haselwood, who is committed to Arkansas. Syracuse has Taj Harris leaving. There is no longer any loyalty in college football. Players are only loyal to what a school has done for them lately. The No Conscience Athletic Authority has created a monster that it needs to slay quickly.

As it is, transfers can step on the field the day they step on campus and the rule-less NIL deals are going to start mimicking the sponsorships NFL players get. They are downright miffed at what has become of their college football dreams. With 3, choices sitting in the portal, why bother with recruiting unknown high school players? Eustis quarterback Blayne Romano said it best. Players should be able to fight through adversity and play the game that you were told to play.

Not today. Players take their ball and go home. They await the next coach to pick them up and hug them and tell them everything will be OK. If there were a transfer portal for sports writers, I might even enter. There's Portal, Portal 2 , and Monkey Island , of course. Grand Theft Auto, Saint's Row, and Borderlands try to wring laughs out of absurd situations by going as low as possible, but depending on your tastes, your mileage may vary.

Add the Paper Mario series to the list. See, the Super Mario universe wasn't built to tell stories more complicated than "the Princess has been kidnapped, go rescue her. Taking Super Mario's weirdness, and then having characters react to it like real people, is even better. That's not the only joke in the scene, either. A few minutes earlier, Mario decides to hop into the hot springs with a group of Toads. They're a little skeeved out. If you've got it, flaunt it.

And boy, have I got it. And then, on the other end of the spectrum, there's this. Hotel Mario is already an outlier in the Mario canon. It appeared on the Phillips CD-i, not a Nintendo console. It's also one of the few Mario games that Nintendo didn't develop.

As the story goes, Nintendo simply licensed its characters including the casts of both the Mario and the Zelda franchises to Phillips, and then sat back while Phillips cranked out a few ultra low-budget adaptations of better games. In Hotel Mario , the titular plumber must battle his way through seven hotels—that's right, hotels, not castles—in order to rescue Princess Peach.

In order to succeed, he'll have to close every door in every hotel by navigating platforming challenges. Along the way, the player will also be "treated" to a number of shoddy animated cutscenes, including the one above.

Nothing about Hotel Mario makes much sense, and while it's not terrible , it isn't great either. If Mario wasn't so dang popular, people probably would've forgotten all about it by now. But at least Hotel Mario gave us this line, which ranks among the most ridiculous in gaming history.

On the surface, Mario's claim seems a little dubious—we're pretty sure nobody says that, and if they do, we certainly do not know about it—but in order to really appreciate the line, you need to hear it spoken out loud. For some reason, Hotel Mario makes Nintendo's cartoon plumber sound like a low-ranking Mafia goon.

The difference between Mario's happy, child-friendly appearance and the low growl of his speaking voice is outright hilarious. And yet it could be even worse. It could be Detective Pikachu. Gaming's Most Ridiculous One-Liners. Invincible, but a little lonely. It might come in handy if you, the master of unlocking, take it with you. How are you holding up? Because I'm a potato.

Tonight I am very prepared! I have an obsessive compulsion to steal a strategy board game of diplomacy, conflict and conquest I have drawings of a Japanese board game. I asked my doctor if he could refer me to a specialist about my addiction to board games.

Draughts, Snakes and ladders, Scrabble He asked "Any Chess? I told my friend I was going to rob a toy store for some board games. He said I could go to jail for it. I said it was a Risk worth taking. What do you yell at a Chinese board game tournament? Tickets are on sale now for EGX's return to Birmingham. Frontier's Warhammer: Age Of Sigmar strategy game pushed back to late Riot Games outline five-year strategy, including plans for more TV, movies and music.

Museum Of Mechanics: Lockpicking has cracked its way onto Steam. If you click on a link and make a purchase we may receive a small commission. Read our editorial policy. You can see that here: To see this content please enable targeting cookies. Portal 2 was announced inside Portal To see this content please enable targeting cookies. Manage cookie settings There are two versions of the original Portal. Manage cookie settings Valve famously hired the team of DigiPen students who made Narbacular Drop , a game about navigating levels with portals, to make Portal.

There is motion control DLC To see this content please enable targeting cookies. Manage cookie settings VR has been a good place to continue to play Portal 2, albeit without any portals. There are three officially endorsed Portal 2 mods on Steam To see this content please enable targeting cookies. Manage cookie settings Portal Stories: Mel follows the previously cut character of Mel as she puzzles her way through Aperture Science.

There are dozens of games in the Portal 2 universe To see this content please enable targeting cookies. Manage cookie settings Including all the games in the ARG and the VR, there are over 30 games that have an official Portal 2 connection. The Settlers has finally emerged from development hell, and it's fighting fit We've been hands on with the upcoming closed beta ahead of its release in March.

Katharine Castle 17 hours ago